Overview of Our DID System

Since we have a form of PTSD called dissociative identity disorder, we have multiple dissociated parts that control our thoughts, actions and urges.

Our parts can control the body with full autonomy and we have no memory when some of them are “fronting.”

Read about Dissociative Amnesia and Mental Health.

Dissociative Identity Disorder caused our identity to split several times over the course of our lives due to a coping mechanism our brain created during childhood to respond to the trauma we endured.   We don’t know all of the alters and their stories yet – as we learn more we will update this page.

We have learned that the number of parts in our system will fluctuate and change as we heal and continue to endure more trauma.  This is true for most everyone who develops a form of structural dissociation.

Read also: What is structural dissociation?


going on with life part - Lynzie


formerly Lydia

Protector. Connection Part.

Lynzie has evolved during our healing.  Currently she is our main host. Previously, she was blamed for many actions that her parts did – not her.  Her healing has allowed her to understand who she is.  She is quiet, overly eccentric, flighty and loyal to a fault. She loves being able to be someone others come to and enjoys being noticed. 

Learn More about Lynzie
higher self alter dissociative identity disorder


our self

protector of purpose

Serves as mostly an internal guiding light.  When she fronts it’s because the body needs to have it’s energy restored.  Mostly she guides others and cares for our spiritual well-being.  Triggered only after intense episodes, but always around.  More often than fronting herself, she is seen as passive influence on whomever is fronting.

Learn More about Izzy

Gage (born as Lux)

Gatekeeper. Lynzie’s main protector.

Self proclaimed chill part.

Explorer. The part that holds secrets from inside.  Caretaker of many parts on the inside.  Can be found sketching, playing Sims, or sitting.  Yes, just sitting.  LOVER of food, he is always around when food is being made or thought about.  Makes a mean breakfast and he always got jokes and analogies that are “deep as shit.”

Watch Gage's Intro on Youtube
inner child part dissociative identity disorder


childhood joy part

remembers happy times with caregivers

angsty adolescent part dissociative identity disorder

Hayleigh (previously Hayden)

Detached Protector

paranoid and rageful part


adults in our did system

Emmaleigh (aka Emmie)

Attachment Protector

Hypercritical part

Emmie developed her coping patterns out of a need to get love from the mother.  This made her a chronic overachiever that had a preoccupation with success and perfection.  This took it’s toll on the rest of the system and she made some changes thru therapy.  Once very hyper critical, Emmie now runs a school program inside for the child parts. 

More on Emmie Youtube intro
ANP in a dissociative identity disorder system



Manager part

Very kind and loving.  Compassionate and a master at communication.  Isabelle functioned as a host for the system mostly during childhood.  She is one of the 2 adults in Jordan’s system. Currently, she functions as an internal helper managing some of the more traumatized child parts and their triggers.

Isabelle's intro blog


Internal Helper

Calm in Crisis part

Jewel was created during a time of healing and trauma.  She appeared one day when both our normal co-hosts could not go on.  She has a backstory that is not system related. She has only fronted in extreme times of crisis to get the day done.  She is calm, quiet and well balanced. Inside, she helps Isabelle with the twins and sits in the field playing her guitar.


now part of Lynzie

self-sacrificing part



medical trauma part

intellectual protector dissociative identity disorder


Intellectual Protector

information keeping and spreading part


49 years old – Maternal Protector.

adopted & estranged mother of Lydia and Gage

She’s been around teaching and guiding (in an overly critical way) since Jordan’s sense of self split at body age 3. Vital before for our survival because she taught us how to feed ourselves – she now mostly looks after the littles in the headspace or handles intense emotions by giving everything a deep clean.  Also likes to politely mother those around us when fronting.

Youtube intro

**not our image**


Fictive/Unknown age


Sarah is Lydia’s alter, she split in 2015.  Little is known about her but Sarah comes in when no one has the faculties to go on – handles the immediate need and then darts off.  The most recent example is when that same abuser sent a random text message after over 2 years – Sarah fronted – deleted the text and his contact information, blocked him from social media and then retreated.

grief and loss alter


Late 30s

Holds death and loss for system

Created to handle feelings of loss when the trusted family member that made life seem sort of ok passed away. When he fronts – he paints only, and states he paints feelings of loss.  Very uncomfortable engaging with others.


sexual protector

only fronts thru Lynzie

persecutor introject dissociative identity disorder



introject of mother’s idea of her self


now part of Lynzie

holds trauma from one of Lydia’s relationships

attachment part dissociative identity disorder


Attachment part for grandmother

emotional deprivation part

approval seeking part dissociative identity disorder

Mary Kate

Approval seeking part

perfect “wife” and “daughter”


almost a cartoon

holds trauma from one of Lydia’s relationships



15 years old


Handles being alone.  Split from Emmie in middle school.  She does not like other people and if her alone time is interrupted she will flee the body.  While she is fronting she is most likely crafting or manifesting.

Sammies Intro on Youtube
angsty adolescent part dissociative identity disorder

Hayleigh (previously Hayden)

Detached Protector

paranoid and rageful part


self doubt part dissociative identity disorder


Self Doubt part

holds ridicule from the mother and step father


creative part dissociative identity disorder


factive of a girl in highschool

Lynzie’s creativity part


catastrophic fear part

holds Lydia’s loss.

childhood shame part dissociative identity disorder


holds shame and guilt

emotional shut down part



feels unwanted

holds memories of step-sisters grand parties


internal protector

keeps Hayleigh from using Lynzie’s mouth


only fronted once

Existed to help in crisis


littles in our system

inner child part dissociative identity disorder


childhood joy part

remembers happy times with caregivers

dissociated child part dissociative identity disorder


main childhood protector

mistrustful part

inner child part dissociative identity disorder


insecure child part

holds trauma from step-father’s family


dissociative identity disorder toddler part


an original split

holds physical and sexual trauma from father

protector dissociative identity disorder


first protector

holds memories from the father

childhood abandonment part dissociative identity disorder

Anna Clara

Fears abandonment

holds trauma from the mother


child part dissociative identity disorder


childhood wonder part

holds good memories of the grandmother

Sammies Intro on Youtube

Katy – Did

part bug / part girl

inner helper that has no memories 

angry child part dissociative identity disorder


childhood rage part

holds anger from being silenced



sadness part

holds specific trauma memories for Jillian


suicidal part

wants a way out of the cave


baby part (about 18 months???)

only cries and feels helpless